The Times Square Olive Garden is a thing of legend – it’s literally just a regular ol’ Olive Garden, that just so happens to be situated in the most congested, busiest part of America. If you’re a tourist or a Midwestern parent terrified of new things, it’s an ideal eating spot – but for everyone else, it’s pretty much the single least ideal place to eat possible: it’s super crowded, it’s pricey, and the food is literally just Olive Garden food. In NYC, it’s not hard to find much cheaper, much better Italian food in place that isn’t wildly overcrowded.
And that’s why this thread on Twitter was so fascinating – Joe Wadlington (a writer who runs @TwitterOpen) revealed that he went on a date with a former manager of the legendary Times Square Olive Garden – and he shared his insights with the world:
1. Yes, they HAVE run out of breadsticks before
If there is one rule all Olive Gardens must follow, it is this: the unlimited breadsticks must flow endlessly, and nothing can get in the way of that simple singular goal. For the single biggest Olive Garden in the world to fall short of this is pretty bad in and of itself – but it gets worse once you realize how much more unlimited breadsticks cost in the Times Square Olive Garden…
2. They have no idea why Americans would ever eat there
Unsurprisingly, this Olive Garden – like ALL Times Square restaurants – was a huge hotspot for foreigners and tourists. No New Yorker in their right mind would be spending time in Times Square of their own volition, let alone paying crazy amounts of money to eat at the Olive Garden there. And yet, lots of Americans (who can find Olive Gardens pretty much anywhere, and for way less money) still showed up. Maybe trying to recapture the spirit of home?
Or maybe because when you’re here, you’re family.
3. It was INSANELY BIG AND POPULAR
I’m not entirely sure who is showing up to the Times Square Olive Garden at 2am, but I’m 100% positive that I want to hang out with them and hear their life story right now.
4. Their most popular dish was EXCESSIVE
Honestly, this is a pretty decent deal for New York City prices:
5. If you tried to stay all day after ordering unlimited breadsticks and salad, Olive Garden would let you get away with it
The Olive Garden and Fast & Furious are similar in that both are REALLY big on the concept of “family.”
6. Violent incidents go down at the Times Square Olive Garden – including KNIFE FIGHTS
If you think you’re safe at the Times Square Olive Garden, THINK AGAIN.
7. …and violent knife fights are still preferable to running out of breadsticks
Remember, current and future managers of Olive Garden: NEVER RUN OUT OF BREADSTICKS.