Some things are just super normal. Like Bob from accounting. We know, he’s not really a thing, but he’s just so normal. There’s not even a single little quirk you can put your finger on. But most people/things aren’t like that. Take forks for example. It is basically a spoon…with little shards coming out of it. And you stick that in your mouth. Does that make more sense than using chopsticks? Or your hand? Or what about your hair? There is basically a constantly growing rug on your head. And that rug consists of millions of little, dead strings that grow straight out of your scalp. It’s kind of gross when you break it down. And why do men where ties? It’s a floppy piece of cloth that hangs from your neck that’s supposed to make you look distinguished and formal. Why don’t we hang it from our backs? Okay, these questions might not impress all of you. But bear with us, there are sure to be at least a few questions that will make you smile. There aren’t? Why are you reading the introduction after already having read the list anyway? Go back and read the list again. These are 25 things that keep getting weirder the more you think about them.
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Beef cat food
Cats are eating cows. Humans have really altered the food chain.
You put your tongue in someone’s mouth and wiggle it around
Besides the “eating cows” thing…they’re little tigers
You take an animal against its will and it develops Stockholm Syndrome towards you.
Everybody you ever met or glanced at is either still out there leading a life just as complicated as yours, or they are dead
The only thing holding currency together is our own confidence that it works.
Laughing and crying
Slight changes in the sound we make and what facial muscles we contract is the difference between us being happy and sad.
They’re 97% water!
It is not reconcilable with gravity and yet has more experimental evidence confirming its existence than gravity itself.
You’re older than you’ve ever been and you’re the youngest you’ll ever be.
They have two rib cages…
All of us are babies that grew up that came from other babies that grew up.
You work in order to make money so that you can buy a car to get to work, to buy clothes so that you’re not naked at work, to buy food so that you’re not hungry at work, to buy a house with a bed so that you’re not tired at work. You basically work so that you can go to work.
Everything is either dead or dying.
Men wear dangly pieces of colored fabric hanging around their necks at work
We have fields and fields of just…dead people
We rely on it to live, but the majority of it is poisonous to us
There is one inside of you…
So many foods require them, like cakes, and basically they are unborn chickens. Think about that…unborn chickens in your cake.
Humans basically took the same atoms that were on prehistoric Earth and rearranged them in ways that led to smartphones
While driving huge machines powered by constant explosions we hurtle around faster than any human or animal could move and we obey paint and colored light bulbs.
They are 99.9% empty space and everything is made of atoms. So everything is basically made up of emptiness.
Seriously…why do we slam our hands together to show approval?