25 Stock Photos ft. Nude Models For Reasons That Are…Super Unclear

Stock photo companies do their best to have a photo for any need, but that also means that some of the photos are so bizarre it’s hard to imagine any real use for them. A lot of them also feature unnecessary, inexplicable nudity. Here are the 25 most inscrutable stock photos of naked women.

 

1. Balancing a Grapefruit on her Head

This picture will be perfect for my presentation on the effects of citrus on naked women.

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2. Holding a Hairless Cat

There’s an obvious pun here, but I’m not going to make it. (HINT: It’s the first thing you and everyone else thought of.)

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3. Eating a Hamburger as If It Were the Last Hamburger on Earth and Someone is Trying to Steal it from Her

Some prop guy was a little overzealous with applying to ketchup to this thing.

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4. Eating Ice Cream

I guess this one kind of makes sense? Maybe it’s a really hot day.

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5. Covered in Cabbage Leaves

“Take off your clothes and put on this cabbage.” “Wait, what?”

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6. Wearing CDs

This makes no sense. Who still uses CDs?

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7. Figuring Out How Headphones Work for the Very First Time

No, that’s not where that goes.

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8. Standing Next to a Bloody, Disembodied Pig Head

It’s the vaudeville act from your psychosexual nightmares.

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9. Wearing a Pizza as a Hat

The cherry tomato really brings all the elements together.

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10. A Strong, Independent Businesswoman

Just another busy day at the office where I am respected for my ability and not my looks.

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11. Wearing a Jack-O-Lantern

Do you think this started out as a spooky shoot that was slowly turning sexy, or a sexy shoot that was slowly turning insane?

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12. Eating an Apple

Here, use this fork and knife the way no one eats apples.

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13. The Saddest Birthday in the World

“What am I doing? Oh, just my usual birthday party for one.”

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14. Holding a Model Airplane

“I don’t know something about this isn’t working. Hey, why don’t you try blowing on the propeller. Yeah… now it’s sexy.”

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15. Driving a Car While Talking on a Phone

This is a photo of a naked, pensive looking woman driving a car, and somehow the phone is the weirdest thing about it.

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16. Standing in the Snow Hugging a Dead Chicken

“Well, ladies, we’ve had a great shoot, but whaddya say we make some ART. Keep the chickens, lose the clothes.”

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17. In a Bathtub Full of Milk and Coffee Beans

The human latte.

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18. Drinking a Cup of Coffee in the Most Unrealistic Way Possible

Hey, remember that take we did with the apple girl? Can you drink this coffee in a crazier way?

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19. Standing Behind of a Bushel of Corn, Staring into Your Soul

What young boy DOESN‘T fantasize about naked women bringing him corn. Corn is delicious.

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20. Clutching a Dead Fish

Strange how one fish can turn a picture from perfectly normal to totally weird.

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21. A Woman Scared of Someone Pouring Milk on Her Cereal

SYMBOLISM!

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22. Sombreros

Wait… is she wearing a tiny sombrero pinned to her head? Even the hat on her head is wrong.

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23. Sushi

By this point this picture seems almost normal.

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24. Covered in Trash

If you’re a model, this is probably the low point of your career, right?

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25. Playing the Violin

Well that’s not how you hold a violin. Why, I’d be surprised if she knows how to play that at all.

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Stock photos from Shutterstock

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