15 Things That Aren't As Hot as Guys Think They Are

*Out* with the toxic masculinity, *in* with just being yourself! As long as yourself isn’t a major fuckass!

1. WHY, WHATEVER DO YOU MEAN, ramya92

Trying to fake a deep voice. Most of us can tell when you are trying to fake it, as compared to when a guy actually has a deep voice.

2. whaturaddress wants to let you know, that shit ain’t cute

Being an asshole.

This guy in my junior year in high school would make me the butt of every joke and bullied me through out the school year. He’d make fun of my friends, my clothes, my hobbies. I found out later that he had a HUGE crush on me like what? What was he trying to accomplish? The bad boy look?

3. That’s when you turn to camera and say mmm check please, amm964

If a guy is ever rude or condescending to customer service on my behalf or trying to impress me, I’m gone.

4. Talk Roth IRA to me daddy. Via thelaughingpear

Bragging about how much money you spend. Financial responsibility is sexy.

5. Hey, just keep it cool, ok? Jeez. From Shina-nya

Excessive bragging about achievements and over-all fragilility over masculinity. If you’re gonna talk about how you’re diamond in Overwatch or League, sure, just mention a few times, but don’t make our whole conversation about how to improve in the game or how much great you are at it. Also please let me buy you shit. I get it, be nice to your girls and all, but fuck, let me be nice to you too! Dated a guy who didn’t want me to pay for anything and it annoyed the hell out of me. I bought him a jacket, and he got upset because he thought I shouldn’t pay for anything, it made him feel inadequate. Wha?????

6. Some antiquated ass bullshit. From nightshart

The “I’ll treat you like a princess” routine. I don’t like being smothered and it seems like they only do it because they think it’ll make girls like them.

7.  Is_Melania_OK wants you to use your words like a civilized person

Picking fights with other guys for stupid reasons. You don’t look tough or manly to me, you look immature and dumb.

8. General rule of thumb, if you’re always calling other people crazy, you’re probably the crazy one. From Illsugam

Bitching about an ex. The more you call your ex crazy, whiny, bitchy, clingy, etc.etc. without any substantial proof, the more I worry about one day “becoming her” (ie, I will be the next crazy ex)

9. fairydustandunicorns has a point. It also wakes me from my nappies on the weekends pls keep it down out there

Revving your car or motorcycle for attention. It’s not hot, it’s obnoxious.

10. Three cheers for average penises! Via thebloodofthematador

especially when it comes to length, a large penis. swomen just do not give that much of a fuck if your dick is five inches or if it’s nine or whatever the hell. Dudes are the only ones who care about the specifics of penis size, I swear. Sure there’s size queens here and there but honestly, as long as you’re not on either end of the bell curve, you’re probably fine.

Also, bigger is not better. 1) it hurts– no one likes to be poked in the cervix and 2) too many guys with big dicks think that’s all they have to do to be good at sex.

11. Birch2011 says bald is beautiful. You ain’t foolin nobody

Toupees, hairpieces, hairplugs, combovers, etc. Bald is sexy. If you’re thinning, just clip or shave or let it go. We can tell when you’re faking it, usually because you’re nervous about it. There are many of us who find bald attractive.

12. But, MirandaCoyne money is cool and me having a lot of it makes me cool. Right? RIGHT?

Flaunting your money. Even as an 18-year-old, I always found it off-putting. You have money? Great. You don’t have to remind me every five minutes.

13. triagonalmeb reminding us that, dicks are not pleasant – keep that shit to yourself unless prompted

dick pics

do not

14. A nuanced, important take from Gabranth – there is no silver bullet here. 

Guys browsing this thread: your mileage will vary; women don’t all hold one unified opinion any more than men all do. Some of us like big old muscled dudes, some of us like chubsters. Some of us like a shiny bald head and smooth face, others like scruffy beards. Some of us like confident alpha dogs, others like shy, kind-hearted saps. Some have no interest in your vidya games and custom built rigs, some of us want to talk all night about Super Metroid speedrun strats and the newest GPUs.

Keep looking ’til you find someone who appreciates you for who you are.

15. Aaaaaaaand of course, I_Stink

cumming in my eye